>I need to get a grip

27 Oct

>I need to get a grip, nearly my whole appointment with my psychologist was me talking about my bloody file, she says I need to stop thinking about it and that there is nothing in there that is ‘out to get me’. I want to stop worrying about it, I want to forget about it, but I can’t. I want to burn it.

We talked a bit about my eating (lack of it). I never really feel comfortable talking to her about that, at first I said I didn’t want to talk about it, but she made the good point that she can’t help me unless I start talking about it. It is difficult as my metabolism has really slowed down now, I seem to be loosing 1 single pound every three days, which is hard, it makes me want to cut my calorie intake down even further, but I no once I have done that, then there is little way back.

My BMI is 16.6, I should be happy with that, but I am not, I still feel ‘chubby’, I can still pinch all of my fat, there is handfuls of it. I want to be happy, but will I ever be satisfied and happy with my weight? I have been saying all along that I am not going to let myself get as ill as I have done in the past, but I can now see it happening, it scares me as I thought I had enough control to stop when the time is right, but I don’t no if I have.

My psychologist suggested an exercise that may help me, I thought I would share it with you, as it could be helpful to all of us. You make a poster advertising anorexia or which ever ED you have, seems a bit odd, but I guess it gets you to think about it in more detail.I will give it ago, because to be honest I am willing to give anything a go.

1 Comment

Posted by on 27/10/2010 in Uncategorized


One response to “>I need to get a grip

  1. LosingIt

    29/10/2010 at 7:26 am

    >That's the thing, we always know what we SHOULD be doing and what we SHOULD think, but it doesn't change what we actually think or feel. And honestly that's really fucking annoying,Take carex


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