So today was the big day, the start of group art therapy, I had attended a couple of sessions whilst on the ward, but this was my first time as an out patient. It was a bit daunting going back to the hospital I had spent so long at, but once in the art room I was ok. I soon settled down to make a elephant out of clay, now I am no artist, so I am not quite sure people will no it is an elephant unless I tell them, but hey I tried. It just has to dry out and go in the kilm or what ever you call it, then I shall have the finished product.
I had the doctors today to pick up my weekly prescription, I mentioned that my belly button wasn’t looking (or smelling) to healthy. During both stomach operations I have had they cut through my belly button, it look hideous, no longer like a belly button. But most of my body no longer looks like it should, so I guess my belly button now fits in. Any ways it is infected, so antibiotics for me, just more pills to add to the list.
My thoughts are still dark and scary, I explained this to the doctor, she was really lovely and listened to me for a while talking through my tears. She said that they have not received any updates from the mental health team since my discharge from hospital, so asked me to ask them to send here an update as to what is going on the next time I speak to them, another shinning example of the great communication that goes on in the NHS.
I am trying my absolute best to keep my self as safe as possible, but with two trips to the hospital for self harm already this week I don’t feel I am coping that well. I feel very low in mood and am just hoping my mind gives me a break soon, before I get to the bottom of the spiral that I am free falling down at the moment.