So that was what my CPN said earlier after I read her my last blog post, so guys that is the answer when feeling suicidal you need to stroke a cat. Ok so that wasn’t the best piece of advice I have been given, but my CPN is actually turning out to be really nice, I like her and think she may be starting to understand the way my mentalness works.
I am still on my downward spiral, last night I spent hours in A&E getting my stomach stitched as I created a very large deep wound, it was vial, it was the obsessional type of self harm that I am scared of. I am gradually finding I am zoning out more and more, i have been here before remember, I am scared.
I hate the fact I am scared of myself, I hate the fact that I no it is going to get worse. One good thing is I have been given a weeks worth of 7.5mg of zopiclone, SLEEP at last.