Monthly Archives: December 2013

leg is healing slowly but surely and piercing disaster

I had another appointment at the burns clinic again yesterday morning,it is still infected,so they have taken another swab to find an anti biotic it isn’t resistant to. But on the whole it is healing slowly,still no baths or showers allowed,I must stink!

I got another piercing yesterday,but unfortunately it fell out in my sleep,I found the bar in my mouth,but the ball was gone and there was no way the bar would go back in,so I am gutted,I will go back on Mon and get it done again,well I think I will go for something slightly different this time,a snake bite,I quite like the idea of that!

Bob has started peeing on puppy training pads in a litter tray,this is such an achievement as he has taken rather fondly to peeing up against my front door,.It has got to the point where you can smell my flat from the stair well and my dad says my clothes were starting to smell of pee.He was starting to talk about me giving Bob away,so I am so glad he has started to pee in a litter tray even if it is rather unusual way!

The shit pills,well that isn’t going very well,I am well and truly caught back up in the cycle of them,I take them purely for the pain they cause me,today I forgot to buy some more and so I couldn’t have my usual amount,I actually cried because of it,stupid I know,but I need the pain,I want the pain.

Christmas was a ok experience this year,I didn’t binge and purge,I ate about 2 thirds of my Christmas dinner. I got a lovely fleecy blanket,a new journal and some elephant earings.I was really lucky. I hope you guys all had as good as Christmas as possible.

I am looking forward to the new year this year as my old room mate from the EDU is coming to stay,it is the first new year I haven’t spent alone in years.hope you all have a good one.

Speak soon


Posted by on 29/12/2013 in Uncategorized


Laxatives,why do we do it?

A large percentage of us abuse laxatives,why?

1-they do help you loose water weight,not proper weight
2-they cause great pain,which can be addictive,as any form of self harm can be
3-because it is doing something you shouldn’t be doing,it has that naughty edge to it
4-punishing yourself for being who you are and what you are

Are they a good way to lose weight?no,because it is only water weight,well that is what the professionals say,but a lot of us abusers do not agree with this,we see the number go down on the scales and celebrate.

I dunno,I am just rambling now,confused I guess 😦

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Posted by on 20/12/2013 in Uncategorized


piercings as a form of self harm?

I have always liked getting piercings and tattoos,I have many and I love them. But sometimes I wonder if I use them as a form of self harm,I have had my tongue pierced 5 times for example. I enjoy the adrenaline rush from getting pierced or tattooed. I am starting to wonder if I use it as a form of self harm. I need to calm it down though as as one of my friends said,I am going to have no skin left without a hole in soon.

Does any one else have similar experiences? I would be interested to know.

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Posted by on 13/12/2013 in Uncategorized